I haven't blogged in awhile but it wasn't until yesterday that I had something that I passionately wanted to blog about. Even after living in Athens (known for drunk college students who only care about the next party and opinionated liberals who aren't afraid of hurting people's feelings), I have never seen such rude behavior until I came in contact with some disgruntled customers at the restaurant where my friend and I met for lunch yesterday.
My daughter had sat for 45 minutes or so, eating and looking at a coloring book while my friend and I talked. I must also add that this friend was one of my best friends in junior high who moved to another school and we have now been reunited because she married one of my best friends from high school and we go to the same church. We hadn't had a chance to sit down and really talk since 8th grade...so I was excited to have a chance to talk to her again. Mia started getting restless and began interupting our conversation, so I let her get down and wonder around the tiny cafe. The place was small enough that I could see her and there weren't very many people there so I thought this decision was pretty harmless.
Well, apparently I was wrong because suddenly a woman sitting at the table next to us blurted out..."Excuse me, you might want to get your daughter. She is into something back there and has gotten it everywhere." Her tone let me know that she was not trying to help me, she was criticizing me. So as not to cause a scene or upset another customer, I went back to rescue Mia from a situation, that sounded from the angry lady's response, to be pretty tragic. Upon arriving at the scene of the crime, I found a miniscule pile of tiny flowers lying beside a basket. I calmly swept them up and threw them away and led Mia back to the table. I thought the problem was over, but after arriving at my chair, I realized I was wrong yet again. The other woman sitting at the same table had taken it upon herself to tell my friend exactly what she thought of the situation.
I didn't hear all of it but what I did hear went something like this..."It just sends fire through me when people don't watch their kids. She's just sitting there talking and not paying a bit of attention to that child. She could have just walked right out the door and she wouldn't have known." My initial reaction was actually just to cry. I have insecurities about being a good mom anyway and I often let the things that random strangers say to me make me upset. But then I just wanted to yell at her...but I knew that wouldn't be very pleasing to God. So, I just sat there. My friend spoke up, "I think it's fine and it's really none of your business." And then she leaned to me and said, "I have never seen someone act so rude." I agreed, but didn't know what to say for myself.
After leaving the restaurant and having time to think about it, I came up with a pretty hateful response that would have certainly put those ladies in their place but then as I had time to pray about it and pray for them all I could really feel was sadness. I felt sad that there are people out there who talk to others like that every day. They don't know the person's situation or what is actually going on, they just jump to conclusions and start giving their opinion. I have the priveledge of having a husband and a mother that I could run to when I was upset about what those women had said, but what about a single mother who is trying really hard and has no one to support her? What if they had said something like that to her...? And I felt sad because people like that live that way every day. They don't enjoy watching a baby toddle around the room because they're too busy being angry and upset. I just felt sorry for them that they had to be so miserable.
So, if I do ever see those women again I would like to say to them, "I have prayed for you and I forgive you for wrongly judging me. It may have looked to you like I wasn't paying attention to my child but I keep a close eye on her, in fact I enjoy watching her and I thank God for every step that she takes. When she was diagnosed at 3 months with a spinal condition, I decided then that I was going to make it a constant effort to enjoy the things she did because I didn't know exactly how her condition would effect her and what she would be able to do. And I would just plead with you to be careful what you say to people because you don't know how badly your words can hurt them...you don't know what they've been through or why they are doing the things they do." I will keep these thoughts in my mind because I'm sure that will not be my last encounter with rude people.
