Choosing Forgiveness

It has been way too long since I posted...things have been a little crazy around here getting ready for Zane. But I thought that since my due date is tomorrow I should at least attempt a thoughtful post before my blog becomes ransacked with new baby pictures or, yet again, becomes dormant for months.

After finishing the book "Same Kind of Different As Me", (which I would highly recommend and would gladly tell you about at another time) I was at a loss to know which, in the massive pile of unread books, to choose to read next. I have for the past few years received books for my birthday and Christmas that I deliberately asked for with the intention of diving right into them...but with a two-year-old around who has lately decided she doesn't like to nap, it has become more difficult to reach my goal of finishing each book before I request another pile. For the last week I have moved a stack of 10 books from the coffee table, to the shelf, to the bedroom and all around again, trying to decide which one would best suit my needs at this time. After a week of such nonsense and a few meaningful conversations with friends, I decided on "Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

This book is so practical and engaging...though it repeatedly steps on my toes, I keep coming back for more. After only two days I have nearly finished it and I would have to say it will probably be one of the most influential books I have ever read in my life (and that is saying something, because I have read a lot of books). DeMoss recounts many stories of people who have been through horrible circumstances and have found the grace and strength from God to move on through the power of forgiveness. Though I don't have a testimony racked with horrible sins dealt against me, I have benefitted so much from reading about the forgiveness of God poured out on me. I offend God greater than anyone could ever offend me and yet he wipes my slate clean and gives me an intimate relationship with Him....but I still find it hard to forgive some people for the simple act of neglecting my feelings or for being selfish.

The first half of the book clearly lays out why we should forgive, giving floods of biblical references and examples. The second half of the book explains how to follow through with it. This book is truly for everyone. "Whether the offense is so large that you think you can't forgive, or so small that you think you don't have to forgive"...everyone has experienced a hurt brought on by someone else that effects the way their life is being lived right now. It actually took reading this book for me to realize how true this is for me.

I've begun to realize how destructive unforgiveness can be...over time you find yourself turning from the grace of God, thinking that revenge belongs to you. You choose to codle your hurt feelings which snowball into bitterness, becoming just like the person who has offended you. By not letting the person "off the hook" you are in turn keeping yourself in a prison. I have so many times convinced myself that the feelings I have felt toward people are justifiable because they were the ones that were wrong and they needed to know it and experience the same frustration and pain...but in chasing the need for retaliation, I have only made myself miserable while the offender (most of the time) remains unware and unaffected. DeMoss, suggests...and presents biblical evidence for it...that in forgiving others, even when they have not extended an apology or even any sign of remorse, we are showing them a glimpse of what Jesus did for us and we can call them to Christ through our actions. And isn't more important to see a person draw near to Christ and be reconciled with him than to receive the miniscule, brief relief of bringing our idea of justice upon them?

This book has deeply affected me and I know it will be life changing for those who have experienced great hurt if the principals are taken to heart and applied to their life.