Emotions about Moving

As many of you know we have less than a week left here in Louisville. I have mixed emotions about leaving.

• I'm excited to be a member and to serve at Bigelow church in Portsmouth, OH and to finally have a house with a washer, dryer and dishwasher and to be near my family and to finally be in a place that we plan to stay for the rest of our lives
• I'm nervous about meeting new people, my role in ministry, family dynamics, finding a job for David, and making sure our insurance is dealt with properly so that Mia's surgery will be paid for later
• I'm sad to leave our church family who have helped us to grow so much spiritually and who have guided us through some of the most difficult times of our lives. I am sad too, because I know this place will never be the same--when we move on, it is only the beginning of the long line of people who will be doing the same, scattering the members of 3rd Avenue Baptist church all over the world.
• I'm happy that I was able to be a part of such a wonderful body of believers, that one day I will see these people again after the long journey of life and we can spend eternity telling each other stories of our ministries, and that I have a whole new group of Christians to build relationships with and learn from at Bigelow.
• I'm tired from packing for weeks and trying to get my 4 month old daughter to sleep through the night
• I'm thankful for the fun going away party that some of our friends threw us last night

Trusting God

I realized that I had hardly posted in October at all which means I had failed to include anything on my blog about the work that God is doing in our lives right now. I guess I should start from the beginning, though I know most of you that read my blog already know the whole story.

Our daughter Maleigha was born with a small dimple above her bottom. The first time I saw it I didn't think it was anything to be alarmed about...I wasn't even sure if it was that abnormal (I haven't really looked at that many bottoms..hehe). But when every doctor and nurse that came into the room said something about it, I began to realize that it might be a little more serious. They told us to keep an eye on it--make sure no fluid was coming out of it, it didn't get bigger, etc. And we left the hospital not really hearing another thing about it.

It wasn't until her 2 month check-up that they decided to look into it a little more. She was scheduled for an ultra-sound (this test was the most tramatic for all of us. I ended up having to hold Mia down for 15 minutes while she screamed until her face was red and she was covered in sweat, drool and snot) and when that seemed to show signs of a condition called tethered cord (where some fibers from the spinal cord attach to the tail bone) they proceeded to do an MRI. This included making a 2 month old baby fast for almost 6 hours. We thought this would be a much bigger ordeal than the ultrasound but it went smoothly. We definitely felt the prayers of our family and church. We got the results the next morning and found out that she indeed had tethered cord and would require surgery on her spine to repair it.

We are now at the point where we are simply trusting God and waiting for answers. We found out today that they won't do this surgery on children under the age of 2. We were frustrated because we thought they would need to do surgery right away. We had planned on moving at the end of this month and had decided not to so that Mia could get her surgery here...but after finding out we would be waiting over a year, we have started looking harder for a job for David in Ohio and researching the neurosurgical department at Children's hospital in Columbus.

I'm learning to trust God in new ways. We had our life planned out for the next few months and God had a different plan. And just when I became okay with the new plan, God threw us for another loop and we are back to having to take it one day at a time and not really knowing what the future holds, trusting God with every step. Though I know this is the way I should be living my life anyway, it still feels so scary. I know when we come through this I will see all that God has taught us and done for us but right now I feel like I can't even see my hand in front of my face. Please pray for our family, that we would trust God and lean on Him only. He has brought us this far and I know He will lead us through this as well.

Happy Halloween!

Wheww...Mia and I just made it back yesterday afternoon from a busy, exciting, fun and crazy time with the family in Ohio. We went on Saturday to surprise my mom for her 50th birthday. She was so excited to see her little Mia (and Mia's mommy and daddy too). David had to come back on Monday for work and class but Mia and I were able to stay til Wednesday so that we could participate in all the festivities of Halloween. We had such a fun visit with everyone...we were both very sad to leave.

On Tuesday, Mia dressed up and went Trick-or-Treating with her cousin, Bryce...I mean, Scarecrow. (While in costume, he insisted on being called "Scarecrow" and Mia was "Baby Butterfly") She had so much fun. She laughed at all the kids walking by and kept her eye on Bryce. She had a continuous smile on her face until we made it back to Jayme and Josh's house where she crashed and slept for an hour or so. Mia's first Halloween was better than I even imagined it would be. She stayed pretty happy (except for the extreme breakdown she had when we visited Josh's office, but we don't like to talk about that). And she looked so adorable in her butterfly costume.

Mia's 2 month check-up

This is the story of Mia's 2 month doctors appointment. To begin the adventure she decided she didn't want to sleep through the night after doing so for a whole week. She cried off and on during the night...I even tried feeding her and she still cried when she was done eating. She probably heard David and I talking about her having to get shots and she was feeling anxiety about it...I don't think that was it because I was worried enough for the both of us. So, after a rough night, I drug myself through the morning until my spirits were lifted when I saw how cute Mia looked in this outfit (picture on the left). Even if the appointment was going to be horrible, she could at least look cute.

I didn't anticipate that Mia would spit up a large quanitity of her noon feeding (which was usually at 1 or 1:30, but because of her rough night she was all confused and ate too early, so my plans to take a well fed, happy baby to the doctor at 1:40 were foiled). So, I had to change her cute little outfit. The picture on the right was what she looked like when we left the apartment...she looked a little scared.

I arrived at the doctor's office with a sleeping baby in tow but when the nurse weighed and measured her she was forced out of her peaceful slumber. When the nurse left the room I was happy to see Mia play and coo with the baby in the mirror above the examining table but deep inside I knew it wouldn't last long. By the time the doctor arrived, Mia had already had enough and all the poking and prodding only made it worse. The screaming began and I could not get her under control until minutes before the nurse came in to give her 4 shots but by then it was too late. Tears welled in my eyes as she writhed and screamed on the table as the needles went into her legs.

Finally the tramatic experience was over and we were able to go home but for Mia, the screaming had only just begun. She cried all the way home and could not be consoled until she was in the safe and loving arms of her daddy who came bounding out the door to greet us the moment we pulled into the parking lot. I was afraid that this was only the beginning of what our long evening would look like, but Mia proved me wrong when, after I finished feeding her, she cooed and played. She was happier than I had seen her in a few days and was full of energy.

By God's grace, Mia and I made it through the ordeal. I experienced a difficult aspect of being a mother--seeing your child in pain, knowing there isn't much you can do about it. And although I would hope that I would never have to experience that again, I know there will be many times that I will have to be there for Mia when she gets a boo-boo, or gets her heart broken or when she gives birth to her own little one someday. This was a big step in the direction of trusting God with my precious daughter...He can protect her like I will never be able to.

Just like Mommy

The dress that I wore when I was a baby finally fits Mia. She looks so much like me in this picture. I often forget that I was this small and someday Mia will be as old as I am now. Realizing this reminds me that I need to trust God so much...I am responsible to make this little child what she will someday be as an adult. I pray that I will raise her to love God and live her life to please Him only.

Mia and her swing

Mia loves playing in her swing. I always worry about her getting bored in it but most of the time she would be content to sit there all day and watch the lights and listen to the music as she swings. She is the happiest when mommy and daddy play with her while she sits in her swing--she gives us the best smiles when she is sitting in it.

And as you can see in the first picture she is starting to figure out how to control her arm. She spent the entire day yesterday staring at her hand as she held it out in front of her face. Occasionally she will attempt to bring it to her mouth but it seems like now she is just fine with showing everyone that she possesses a hand on her right side. It looks like she wants us to "give her the rock".

Growing Big and Strong

Mia had her one month doctor's visit today and everything is looking great. She is now 20.5 inches long and weighs 8lbs 5oz. She has grown so much since she was born when she was 18.5 inches and 7lbs 2oz. The doctor said she is one of the most alert and responsive babies she has ever seen at this age. She really does love smiling and talking...even to the point that she won't sleep if she knows there are people around to play with. We have loved watching our little girl grow over the last month.

Over the last month I have had to learn how to trust God to protect and take care of Mia. I worry that she isn't getting enough to eat, I worry that I'm feeding her too much, I worry that she will choke in her sleep, I worry that I'm not holding her enough, I worry that I'm holding her too much, I worry about her schedule...and so on. But it all comes down to that God is in control of her life anyway and there is only so much I can do. So far, He has given us a healthy, happy baby that has given us so much joy...and right now that is all I could ask for.