Well, we went to Cincinnati yesterday with the intention of hearing some news about the test that Mia had done a few weeks ago. We were not expecting her to have to have another test done...and find out that she needs yet another test in December. I am glad that they are being so thorough in their diagnosis and treatment and the people at Cincinnati Children's Hospital are so nice...but I have discovered that I am not as patient as I thought I was. I really just want to have all the tests done and know the full extent of what is wrong so that we can fix it and move on with our lives. At the same time, over the last few weeks and through watching all the kids coming in and out of the hospital yesterday...I have seen how much I really have to thank my amazing God for. We have our Mia with us and she has a condition that is treatable and she is currently functioning just fine. And thus far I have learned to trust God more than I ever have and I am learning patience...though that may take awhile.
We found out yesterday that the results from Mia's last test were not so good but the doctor said not to really freak out about that yet because Mia simply being upset while the test was taking place could have possibly caused the results to be skewed. He said the test showed that where her bladder should be holding 40 mL at a time, she can only hold 1. And then the ultrasound that she had yesterday revealed that her bladder is having to work way too hard and this has caused scar tissue to form along the inside of her bladder. And because her bladder cannot get rid of urine as it should, there is urine collecting on her kidneys which has caused some swelling and over time could cause distress for her kidneys.
I have a hard time not thinking too far ahead to some of the possibilities that the doctor mentioned...to surgery, to the possibility of surgery not even helping the problem, to having to learn to catheterize my own daughter, to kidney problems...and my mind can even come up with things that the doctor didn't even mention. But God continually pushes those things out of mind, reminding me that he will only give me what I can handle and that through suffering comes endurance, character and hope and he is leading me step by step (not giant leap by giant leap) and that all things will work together for my good. God's Word gives such great encouragment in times of uncertainty!
I just ask that you pray for Maleigha as we continue this process. Please pray most of all that God would be glorified in my and David's thoughts and actions. God has truly blessed us with friends and family who faithfully pray! Thanks!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Perseverance Through Suffering
Recently I have observed two godly families as they have endured the loss of their very young daughters. Upon hearing the news about each child's death I began to question my faith...is my faith in God firm enough that I could endure such a tragedy and still bring glory to Him? How could I possibly lose someone I love and still find the strength to praise God? I wrestled for days with this concept and only found myself more frustrated and discouraged until I came to the chapter on perseverance in the book I am reading (Discliplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes).
She started the chapter by relaying the story of a couple who were in a terrible car accident and lost 6 of their 9 children when the car burst into flames. She told of how the couple's physical recovery gave them time to read the Word of God and reflect on his character and promises. Though I began to see the process that they went through to bring glory to God through their suffering, I still found myself discouraged. I thought "I still believe that if I were faced with the death of my child, I don't know if I could truly bring glory to God in the way that these families have".
But as I read on, the author made a point that finally gave me some hope. "Faith in the goodness of God in the face of extreme adversity doesn't just happen. It grows out of perseverance in the day-in, day-out grind of everyday life". These families that I had observed and read about were not just suddenly stricken with amazing faith in God that they had not cultivated. The faith came because they had spent years knowing God better and trusting every day in the goodness, mercy, justice, kindness, grace, omniscience, omnipotence and sovereignty of God. So faith like this comes from trusting in God through my daughter's doctors appointments and possible surgery. It comes from praising God when I feel like crying because people I trusted have hurt me. It comes even from just relying on God to give me patience with my husband leaves his socks in the floor.
I also was reminded that even our cultivation of faith is not enough. Jesus Christ himself has given us an example to follow. He endured the cross (physical pain and separation from God) to bring glory to his Father. And as well, the Holy Spirit prays on our behalf. That is amazing to me! That God himself prays for us! God piles on top of our faith (which he has given us anyway, by his grace) a special prayer just for us.
And even beyond those things, I have learned that I should not be afraid of or resist suffering because God uses it as a means to make us more like Him. This is something that, as long as we are on earth, we will always need more of. He also uses the suffering of His saints to spread the Gospel--people can see how great our God really is when we rely on him no matter how difficult (or just plain annoying) a situation might be. And this is the one I find most inspiring...God also uses suffering as a means for us to see Him. We can learn so much about God through hard things that we go through.
She started the chapter by relaying the story of a couple who were in a terrible car accident and lost 6 of their 9 children when the car burst into flames. She told of how the couple's physical recovery gave them time to read the Word of God and reflect on his character and promises. Though I began to see the process that they went through to bring glory to God through their suffering, I still found myself discouraged. I thought "I still believe that if I were faced with the death of my child, I don't know if I could truly bring glory to God in the way that these families have".
But as I read on, the author made a point that finally gave me some hope. "Faith in the goodness of God in the face of extreme adversity doesn't just happen. It grows out of perseverance in the day-in, day-out grind of everyday life". These families that I had observed and read about were not just suddenly stricken with amazing faith in God that they had not cultivated. The faith came because they had spent years knowing God better and trusting every day in the goodness, mercy, justice, kindness, grace, omniscience, omnipotence and sovereignty of God. So faith like this comes from trusting in God through my daughter's doctors appointments and possible surgery. It comes from praising God when I feel like crying because people I trusted have hurt me. It comes even from just relying on God to give me patience with my husband leaves his socks in the floor.
I also was reminded that even our cultivation of faith is not enough. Jesus Christ himself has given us an example to follow. He endured the cross (physical pain and separation from God) to bring glory to his Father. And as well, the Holy Spirit prays on our behalf. That is amazing to me! That God himself prays for us! God piles on top of our faith (which he has given us anyway, by his grace) a special prayer just for us.
And even beyond those things, I have learned that I should not be afraid of or resist suffering because God uses it as a means to make us more like Him. This is something that, as long as we are on earth, we will always need more of. He also uses the suffering of His saints to spread the Gospel--people can see how great our God really is when we rely on him no matter how difficult (or just plain annoying) a situation might be. And this is the one I find most inspiring...God also uses suffering as a means for us to see Him. We can learn so much about God through hard things that we go through.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Mommy, we didn't pray yet
I really believe that we are given children to sanctify us in so many ways. I have learned so much already in just the short year and three months that my daughter has been in this world. She teaches me patience on those days that she won't let me out of her sight even to go to the bathroom. She keeps me from being lazy by getting me out of bed at 6am. She teaches me how to not hold a grudge when she gives me a big hug after I've just punished her for opening the kitchen cabinets. She teaches me what it really means to love...just because she is so lovable.
But this week, she really put me in my place when I neglected to thank God as I should. I was in a hurry to get our lunch ready because I wanted to get her down for a nap on time. I put her food in front of her and she sat quietly as I ran around the kitchen getting something for myself. I quickly got my food and drink, sat down and immediately began eating. She just stared at me like I was doing something weird and then she did something that made me stop what I was doing...she bowed her head and closed her eyes as if to say, "Mommy, we didn't pray yet." I followed the example of my little Mia and bowed my head and prayed. And in my heart I was thanking God that slowly my daughter was learning to love Him.
But this week, she really put me in my place when I neglected to thank God as I should. I was in a hurry to get our lunch ready because I wanted to get her down for a nap on time. I put her food in front of her and she sat quietly as I ran around the kitchen getting something for myself. I quickly got my food and drink, sat down and immediately began eating. She just stared at me like I was doing something weird and then she did something that made me stop what I was doing...she bowed her head and closed her eyes as if to say, "Mommy, we didn't pray yet." I followed the example of my little Mia and bowed my head and prayed. And in my heart I was thanking God that slowly my daughter was learning to love Him.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Maleigha's Test
**For those of you who are also on the women's yahoo group for 3ABC or who keep up with Facebook--This is the same message I posted at both places so if you already read it, you can save yourself the time and stop reading now.
Some people had commented on my Facebook account that they would like
an update about Mia. Until Thursday nothing had really happened
since we moved to Ohio. We had a little trouble getting things to
work out at the hospital in Cinci. We had the records of her
ultrasound and MRI sent from Kosair in Louisville to the children's hospital in
Cinci and they decided that she needed one more test. We had been
waiting for a long time for them to call us and finally they called
last week with an appointment for Thursday. It was kind of short
notice but since we had been waiting so long, we just dropped
everything and went.
The test was called a Urodynamics test. It was a little difficult
for all of us because they had to put a catheter in her and she was
scared and upset and then that made David and I upset for her. But
by God's grace the test didn't take too long and the people were very
nice. This test is done to show how well the bladder empties and
fills. It also measures the pressures in the bladder and the function
of the muscles that cause the bladder to open and close. This is the
definitive test to finalize a diagnosis when all other tests have
confirmed the presence of tethered cord. We are still praying that
all other tests have been wrong while continuing to trust God and
pray that we would be strong and faithful even if Mia does end up
needing surgery. It feels hard to pray for both of those things
because I would ultimately prefer her to be perfectly healthy.
Through this and other cirmumstances, God has really been teaching me
a lot about suffering for His glory. I've just seen time after time,
how God works through hard times (much harder times than what we have
ever gone through) and this encourages me to trust Him and persevere.
Thanks to those who are praying for us, those who showed concern
about Mia's test and those who are reading this now. Hope you all
are doing well.
Some people had commented on my Facebook account that they would like
an update about Mia. Until Thursday nothing had really happened
since we moved to Ohio. We had a little trouble getting things to
work out at the hospital in Cinci. We had the records of her
ultrasound and MRI sent from Kosair in Louisville to the children's hospital in
Cinci and they decided that she needed one more test. We had been
waiting for a long time for them to call us and finally they called
last week with an appointment for Thursday. It was kind of short
notice but since we had been waiting so long, we just dropped
everything and went.
The test was called a Urodynamics test. It was a little difficult
for all of us because they had to put a catheter in her and she was
scared and upset and then that made David and I upset for her. But
by God's grace the test didn't take too long and the people were very
nice. This test is done to show how well the bladder empties and
fills. It also measures the pressures in the bladder and the function
of the muscles that cause the bladder to open and close. This is the
definitive test to finalize a diagnosis when all other tests have
confirmed the presence of tethered cord. We are still praying that
all other tests have been wrong while continuing to trust God and
pray that we would be strong and faithful even if Mia does end up
needing surgery. It feels hard to pray for both of those things
because I would ultimately prefer her to be perfectly healthy.
Through this and other cirmumstances, God has really been teaching me
a lot about suffering for His glory. I've just seen time after time,
how God works through hard times (much harder times than what we have
ever gone through) and this encourages me to trust Him and persevere.
Thanks to those who are praying for us, those who showed concern
about Mia's test and those who are reading this now. Hope you all
are doing well.
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