Well, I was really put in my place today. Once again, my 3-year-old daughter inadvertantly taught me a lesson. We had a huge stack of library books that were due back today and even though it feels like we have been running around all week, I wasn't about to rack up a fine on that many books. Although Mia whined all morning while we were getting ready, I just shrugged it off and decided that she would be fine once she had some breakfast. So as soon as she finished her milk and fruit we headed out the door to return the nearly overdue books and to hopefully get a new stack. She and her brother did wonderfully at the library. Mia picked out a huge pile of books and proceeded to read them all while I fed Zane his bottle. We gathered up all the books, checked them out and it was only until we started to head out the door that the whining returned. She had wanted to carry some of the books but they suddenly became too heavy and she dropped them on the floor, sending her into one of her drama queen moments.
Though Mia was a little cranky, I continued with my original plan...to get milk while it was still on sale at Kroger. I let her browse through the book aisle before heading back to the dairy case in hopes that I could spend a little more time checking out the sales that were going on this week. When we finally had to head home, I told Mia that we were not going to buy the books and we had to return them before we could leave. This is a common practice and it usually works out fine...she is usually tired of the book by the time we need to leave the store and we put it back and move on. But today, she decided that she wanted to take those books home and her whining escalated into yelling which turned into a high pitched, ear splitting scream that could be heard all over the store. Her face was red, her eyes were blood-shot and she was jumping up and down in the back of the buggy. This is where I also need to mention that I decided to let Mia wear her Ariel costume out today. I don't usually let her wear those kind of things out, simply because it makes it awkward to get her in and out of the carseat. So, I have in my buggy, a lethargic 5 month old who is slowly falling asleep, 2 gallons of sale priced milk...and a screeching 3-year-old in an Ariel costume.
I don't know about anyone else...but there have been plenty of times where I have seen a child dressed similarly to the way Mia was dressed, screaming the way that she was and thought, "What a spoiled brat! That parent doesn't even have control of what that kid wears. I am sure they have no sense of discipline. I am so glad that my kid doesn't act like that...." and other similar degrading thoughts. I was immediately put in my place. As her mother, I knew this was the absolute biggest fit I had seen her throw in months, maybe even a year...and the Ariel outfit was not a cave in discipline but a reward for being so cooperative and obedient the last few days...and I had pushed her way past her lunch time so that I wouldn't have to go back out later to get milk. As all the people stared, I began to realize just how those mothers (the ones that I found so easy to judge before) must feel.
I learned that it is entirely unhelpful to stand by and judge a situation like that. Who am I helping when I assume that I know what is going on and proceed to pass my own judgement on a family that I don't even know?...I'm not helping them, and I'm not even helping myself. I hope that from now on, I will try to view a screaming child as a way to comfort and encourage a struggling mother and not a way to make myself feel better, because in the long run I'm not making myself feel better but enforcing my pride and judgemental attitude. And it doesn't matter if that child is a brat every single day of their life because the parents don't discipline them...I can view these people through the eyes of Jesus, pray for them and offer my help in the moment knowing that I would want someone to do the same for me.
Though Mia was a little cranky, I continued with my original plan...to get milk while it was still on sale at Kroger. I let her browse through the book aisle before heading back to the dairy case in hopes that I could spend a little more time checking out the sales that were going on this week. When we finally had to head home, I told Mia that we were not going to buy the books and we had to return them before we could leave. This is a common practice and it usually works out fine...she is usually tired of the book by the time we need to leave the store and we put it back and move on. But today, she decided that she wanted to take those books home and her whining escalated into yelling which turned into a high pitched, ear splitting scream that could be heard all over the store. Her face was red, her eyes were blood-shot and she was jumping up and down in the back of the buggy. This is where I also need to mention that I decided to let Mia wear her Ariel costume out today. I don't usually let her wear those kind of things out, simply because it makes it awkward to get her in and out of the carseat. So, I have in my buggy, a lethargic 5 month old who is slowly falling asleep, 2 gallons of sale priced milk...and a screeching 3-year-old in an Ariel costume.
I don't know about anyone else...but there have been plenty of times where I have seen a child dressed similarly to the way Mia was dressed, screaming the way that she was and thought, "What a spoiled brat! That parent doesn't even have control of what that kid wears. I am sure they have no sense of discipline. I am so glad that my kid doesn't act like that...." and other similar degrading thoughts. I was immediately put in my place. As her mother, I knew this was the absolute biggest fit I had seen her throw in months, maybe even a year...and the Ariel outfit was not a cave in discipline but a reward for being so cooperative and obedient the last few days...and I had pushed her way past her lunch time so that I wouldn't have to go back out later to get milk. As all the people stared, I began to realize just how those mothers (the ones that I found so easy to judge before) must feel.
I learned that it is entirely unhelpful to stand by and judge a situation like that. Who am I helping when I assume that I know what is going on and proceed to pass my own judgement on a family that I don't even know?...I'm not helping them, and I'm not even helping myself. I hope that from now on, I will try to view a screaming child as a way to comfort and encourage a struggling mother and not a way to make myself feel better, because in the long run I'm not making myself feel better but enforcing my pride and judgemental attitude. And it doesn't matter if that child is a brat every single day of their life because the parents don't discipline them...I can view these people through the eyes of Jesus, pray for them and offer my help in the moment knowing that I would want someone to do the same for me.
1 comment:
I love the story, but find it impossible to believe that MY granddaughter, the sweet princess, would EVER act like that. ;) Love you and love the way you love your babies. Thanks for the reminder to us all!!
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