The Last 4 Months

It's been awhile since I posted...I've needed about 4 months to adjust to the arrival of our newest addition. Zane David Russell Dunham joined our family on February 27th and although he is one of the happiest babies I have ever encountered...it took us some time to get used to having a baby around again. After many Sundays of rushing in to church sweating, with arm loads of bags and blankets, feeling frustrated and exhausted, I have now mastered the art of getting two children ready and am now even able to arrive early. I think the secret is to gladly accept help from anyone who happens to be arriving at the same time as me.

And although it is somewhat more difficult than I thought it was going to be to have two little ones to take care of every day I have actually been able to accomplish more than I thought I would. I have read a few books, taken up a new hobby, continued to serve at the church and I've still been able to have somewhat of a social life.

David graduated in May from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary with a Masters of Divinity. We are excited to see what the Lord has in store for us while serving in our current location. God has given David many opportunities to learn and serve since he felt the call to be a pastor and I am confident that each step along the way has been to prepare us for what lies ahead. Please pray for us as we try our best to love like Jesus and to seek God's will for our lives.

Maleigha will be turning 3 on July 25th. I can't believe my baby girl is going to be 3!! Her current obsession is a sparkly pink tiara that she got for Christmas. She wore it every day last week. It started as an accessory to wear to our growth group picnic on Tuesday...she insisted that because it was a party she had to get fancy. So, when we also had a picnic on Wednesday, she had to wear it again. I had to talk her out of wearing it to bed on Thursday and by Saturday her ensemble for the Roe family 4th of July picnic included the tiara (of course), with the addition of a valentine's necklace, a "happy new year" necklace and a blinking, bright pink jack-o-lantern necklace. I'm pretty sure she is convinced that you can never be too fancy.

Choosing Forgiveness

It has been way too long since I posted...things have been a little crazy around here getting ready for Zane. But I thought that since my due date is tomorrow I should at least attempt a thoughtful post before my blog becomes ransacked with new baby pictures or, yet again, becomes dormant for months.

After finishing the book "Same Kind of Different As Me", (which I would highly recommend and would gladly tell you about at another time) I was at a loss to know which, in the massive pile of unread books, to choose to read next. I have for the past few years received books for my birthday and Christmas that I deliberately asked for with the intention of diving right into them...but with a two-year-old around who has lately decided she doesn't like to nap, it has become more difficult to reach my goal of finishing each book before I request another pile. For the last week I have moved a stack of 10 books from the coffee table, to the shelf, to the bedroom and all around again, trying to decide which one would best suit my needs at this time. After a week of such nonsense and a few meaningful conversations with friends, I decided on "Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

This book is so practical and engaging...though it repeatedly steps on my toes, I keep coming back for more. After only two days I have nearly finished it and I would have to say it will probably be one of the most influential books I have ever read in my life (and that is saying something, because I have read a lot of books). DeMoss recounts many stories of people who have been through horrible circumstances and have found the grace and strength from God to move on through the power of forgiveness. Though I don't have a testimony racked with horrible sins dealt against me, I have benefitted so much from reading about the forgiveness of God poured out on me. I offend God greater than anyone could ever offend me and yet he wipes my slate clean and gives me an intimate relationship with Him....but I still find it hard to forgive some people for the simple act of neglecting my feelings or for being selfish.

The first half of the book clearly lays out why we should forgive, giving floods of biblical references and examples. The second half of the book explains how to follow through with it. This book is truly for everyone. "Whether the offense is so large that you think you can't forgive, or so small that you think you don't have to forgive"...everyone has experienced a hurt brought on by someone else that effects the way their life is being lived right now. It actually took reading this book for me to realize how true this is for me.

I've begun to realize how destructive unforgiveness can be...over time you find yourself turning from the grace of God, thinking that revenge belongs to you. You choose to codle your hurt feelings which snowball into bitterness, becoming just like the person who has offended you. By not letting the person "off the hook" you are in turn keeping yourself in a prison. I have so many times convinced myself that the feelings I have felt toward people are justifiable because they were the ones that were wrong and they needed to know it and experience the same frustration and pain...but in chasing the need for retaliation, I have only made myself miserable while the offender (most of the time) remains unware and unaffected. DeMoss, suggests...and presents biblical evidence for it...that in forgiving others, even when they have not extended an apology or even any sign of remorse, we are showing them a glimpse of what Jesus did for us and we can call them to Christ through our actions. And isn't more important to see a person draw near to Christ and be reconciled with him than to receive the miniscule, brief relief of bringing our idea of justice upon them?

This book has deeply affected me and I know it will be life changing for those who have experienced great hurt if the principals are taken to heart and applied to their life.

Preparing a Place

I had a great conversation with my daughter over dinner this evening and I needed to write it down somewhere.

David had gone to help with the youth at church so it was just the girls for dinner. Mia sat eating, seemingly consentrating only on the mac and cheese in front of her when suddenly she said, "Mommy, God is making me a castle." I was a little surprised by her comment and simply asked, "Who told you that?" She replied, "Jesus".

I went on to tell her that the bible says that if we love Jesus and we follow him and trust him that God really is making a place for us in heaven that could be like a castle. I said that God was making one for Mommy and for Daddy and when she trusted Jesus and understood and believed that he died on the cross for her that God would make one for her too.

I realized later that she may actually be confusing God and Santa...she had asked Santa for a princess castle for Christmas, Santa makes toys--so Santa is making her a castle. But despite that, it provided a means for me to share the gospel with my two year old daughter and we'll work on clearning up the Santa/God confusion.

Contentment

This year my husband bought me a short devotional book that God has really been using to change my heart. Contentment: A Godly Woman's Adornment by Lydia Brownback has challenged me on a daily basis. This book has so much wisdom pack into 107 pages...I found myself many times wanting to highlight every word on the page, every sentence felt like something I never wanted to forget. I am currently half-way through it and wanted to share some of the wisdom God has poured upon me from this insightful book. (I will simply give the info to you in bullet points to avoid getting too wordy...I could go on forever about each point and how God is working and has worked in my life relating to each one, but I won't right now. I'll save it for another post)

• If we trust in God wherever we find ourselves, we will know contentment whether the season is easy or hard...He will lead us in, through and out of any situation
• If your circumstances feel frustrating it may be God's way of getting you to deal with sin...turn to God and examine your heart
• If we focus only on what we hope tomorrow will bring, we miss all the pleasure of today
• We may not be able to change out circumstances but we can change the way we think about them
• God is the only remedy for our unhappiness...anything else we cling to for comfort is only robbing us to blessing
• Real contentment comes when we willingly embrace the loss of our maximum benefits and let go of our entitlement to them
• Good things are not worth it if God is not the giver. If we let go and allow God to work in His time, we will be content with or without our hearts desire
• Lack facilitates closeness to God in a way that prosperity rarely does--the more we have, the more self-sufficient we deceive ourselves into thinking we are
• Our problem isn't that we need something we don't have, our problem is that we don't find God to be enough
• God comes in the place of our desires to give us something better...joy, peace, guidance, love, security and communion with Him
• We should enjoy the material things God gives us but hold them loosely
• Home cannot be our comfort and security because it is constantly shifting (especially when you are a pastor's family). Contentment comes when we discover that home is much more about where we are going (Heaven) that where we have come from. We have the contentment of home right now, wherever we are, because home is where God has us...home is Christ who unites us to God--this is the only home we will never have to leave
• God may choose to bless us with things we plead for or he may not...getting out of misery is guaranteed if only we will give our heart to God
• When we get the "if only" (if only I have more money, if only I were thinner, etc.) we want so badly, it fails to satisfy so we set our sight and energy on getting the next thing. Only God can ultimately satisfy. When we pour our desires into God and His purposes, we find deep satisfaction that nothing else can gives us.

20 Cute Things My Daughter Does

1. She stays in bed for at least 30 minutes before and after sleeping to fill her bed full of books and read

2. She says "sutu duty" instead of sleeping beauty and "blanklet" instead of blanket and "moofie" instead of movie

3. She thinks "I love you" and "I miss you" are the same thing

4. She loves to have her fingernails painted and to wear a tutu, a million necklaces and bows all the way around her head

5. She says that her brother's name means "God gave us a present"

6. When going to bed she looks at me with sad, puppy dog eyes and says, "Lay, Mommy, lay" and wants me to lay with her for a few minutes before she reads...and of course I find it impossible to say no

7. She finds a way to sing everything to the tune of "Twinkle, twinkle little star"

8. She has started saying, "Oh, wait a second" and "Five more minutes"

9. She sings very loudly at church with her eyes closed and her hands raised up to the sky...on many occasions she also dances

10. She makes up names for characters in her books...such as "Buki, Zoofa and Masa"

11. She always tries to find a way to make people feel better when they are sad or sick...like once I was sick in bed and she came in to see me. She didn't know what else to say so she said the happiest thing she could thing of, "Happy Birthday, Mommy!"

12. She LOVES babies...even the doll she found at Target that only had one eye. She would not put it down and rocked it and pretended to give it a bath and sang to it.

13. She talks about what Zane is going to do when he gets here..."Eat and POOP and sleep and POOP and cry and POOP"

14. Everything makes her super excited...suckers at the bank, hot dogs for lunch, wearing her panda shoes, going on a walk. And that she has started saying "Best day ever" or "Best book ever"...or best (anything) ever

15. She would look at pictures for hours...in picture albums, on the computer, on the camera, on someones phone

16. When listening to music in the car...it has to be turned up and can never, ever be turned off and sometimes everyone in the car is required to sing along

17. When going out on a windy day she immediately yells, "Oh no, my hair". What a girly girl! I don't know where she came from!

18. She is learning how to use her cuteness to get what she wants (thankfully, I'm learning not to give in everytime she is cute, or she would always have candy for breakfast). So, she asks for something once in a normal tone and then turns her head to the side, grins really big and changes the tone of her voice to small and cute and asks again.

19. Right now it is cute that she wants to act like a baby...she gets one of her baby doll bottles, a blanket and a pacifier and wants me to hold her while she whimpers and cries like a baby. I'm sure it will get a little old after Zane arrives.

20. I love that she is already a runner...when we go on walks, she jogs out in front of us with her arms pumping. She looks so cute and actually has really good form for a 2-year-old

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I have found it difficult lately to memorize scripture and have made excuse after excuse for why I am not doing this much need discipline:



1. I have a two-year-old who not only demands my time when she is awake but leaves me a million chores to do while she is asleep...although I've seen young women with more children than I have find the time. Above is a picture of my little distraction.

2. Like many other people I know, it does not come naturally for me to memorize anything. At times I unintentionally sink into the philosophy of "why memorize anything that you can look up on your laptop or cell phone within seconds of needing to know it?"

3. I fill my mind with so many other things...although I haven't been so guilty lately of wasting time with TV and internet, I have rediscovered the library and historical fiction and have spent the hours of Mia's nap held captive by the curious combination of hard facts and an entertaining story.

But as I have found out, the benefits of memorizing scripture far outweigh the difficulties. The Lord has challenged my faith so much through the scripture He has placed on my heart in combination with the trials that I have had to go through. For example, I memorized Romans 8:18 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us" and Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" and Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not me anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" And soon after, our precious girl had to have spinal surgery. These verses, along with others sent to me by dear friends, became my strength. The Holy Spirit used the Word of God to calm my heart and build my faith in God.

The verse I am currently working on is 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things are are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." I look forward to seeing how the Lord will use this verse in the future as He has used so many others.


I pray that by the Lord's strength I will overcome all obstacles this week in order to memorize this verse...I will be intentional about waking up early, I will guard my heart against wrong, wordly philosophies that convince me that I don't need to have the scripture in my heart, and I will guard my mind against any other thoughts or activities that could keep me from God's word.

100 Things that make me happy

I've found myself complaining a lot lately. I grumble about people, circumstances, our house, the government, my cell phone, my clothes...you name it, I was finding some way to complain about it. For awhile I blamed it on pregnancy hormones...but even if that truly is the cause of my rantings, giving in to those effects can soon become a habit that is hard to break long after the hormones have settled down. So, in an attempt to rescue my discontent heart I decided to compile a list of 100 things that make me happy. It seems like a lot of things to come up with but I feel that I'm in need of some serious intervention. So, here it goes...



1. My relationship with Jesus Christ

2. David

3. Maleigha

4. Baby Dunham

5. Maleigha's health

6. Finding out I was pregnant after being told I was infertile...twice

7. My family (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, nephews, etc.)

8. Laughing so hard that I cry

9. Catching up with old friends

10. Knowing that heaven awaits me

11. Meeting new friends

12. Guacamole

13. Understanding and applying the word of God

14. Watching Maleigha play

15. Finishing a book

16. Writing a poem

17. Finding free shoes...yes, that really did happen to me once

18. Everything about the fall (candy corn, leaves changing, wearing a sweater, waking up to the windows open, pumpkins, decorations, cool breezes, apple picking, hayrides, football games)

19. Decorating (or re-decorating) a room in our house

20. Date nights with my husband

21. Staying in a hotel with free breakfast

22. Making homemade bread and eating it with apple butter

23. Learning that Jennifer Knapp is coming back

24. My zebra print shoes

25. Shopping with my mom and sister

26. Eating outside

27. Reading to my daughter

28. Listening to my daughter "read"

29. Singing in the car

30. Hobby Lobby

31. Spending the night at my parents house

32. Sharing stories with my siblings from when we were growing up

33. Checking facebook and blogs

34. Making lists

35. Grocery shopping...I know it's a chore for some people but I look forward to it every week

36. Going on a walk

37. Riding my bike on the bike path in Athens...I miss that

38. Peanut Butter

39. Louisville, KY...I love that city

40. Hearing someone pray for me

41. Listening to Maleigha talk about Jesus

42. Winning a bid on ebay

43. Writing a story

44. Trying a new restaurant

45. The enthusiasm of a new Christian

46. Singing with my praise team

47. Watching Maleigha sing and dance on Sundays

48. When my husband comes home from work

49. Maple cream filled donuts

50. My favorite pink blanket

51. Finishing a sewing project

52. Running

53. Recalling the victories God has given me in my life

54. Pancakes and cartoons on a Saturday morning

55. Family gatherings

56. My Granny's noodles...and spaghetti sauce (which my mom has now perfected as well)

57. BBQ sauce...on pork, tacos, hamburgers, chicken, or baked potatoes

58. Sitting in the corner of our sectional sofa
59. Going to the fair...but it makes me sad it only happens once a year
60. Hearing my husband preach
61. Making a really cute outfit out of the clothes I already have
62. Getting a new magazine or catalog in the mail
63. Watching David and Mia play "critters"
64. Coloring with new a coloring book and crayons
65. Trying a new recipe
66. Having a whole afternoon to read and listen to music
67. Hearing news from our old church....3ABC
68. Going out for ice cream
69. Making s'mores over a real fire
70. Stopping at a gas station for snacks on a long trip
71. Looking through albums full of pictures
72. Hearing my favorite song on the radio
73. Listening to a new CD
74. Listening to an old favorite CD that brings back floods of memories
75. Coming home to a clean house
76. Fresh, clean laundry
77. Holiday traditions
78. The beach
79. Seeing other people happy
80. Tickling Maleigha
81. Finding out that Mia's surgery was a success
82. The grace of God
83. Thinking about my friends and family I will see again in heaven
84. Vacation
85. Hot chocolate and coffee cake
86. Ordering pizza and watching movies
87. Homegrown tomatoes
88. Coupons
89. Parades
90. Funny youtube videos
91. Chatting with friends while the husbands have the kids
92. Nap time
93. Visiting places with good memories
94. Finding a bible verse that really fits in my life
95. Reconciling with someone I feel I have wronged
96. Daydreams
97. Seeing pictures of my unborn baby
98. New clothes
99. Cookbooks
100. Sunsets....

and I could keep going. God is so good to me! Why should I ever complain?