Emotions about Moving

As many of you know we have less than a week left here in Louisville. I have mixed emotions about leaving.

• I'm excited to be a member and to serve at Bigelow church in Portsmouth, OH and to finally have a house with a washer, dryer and dishwasher and to be near my family and to finally be in a place that we plan to stay for the rest of our lives
• I'm nervous about meeting new people, my role in ministry, family dynamics, finding a job for David, and making sure our insurance is dealt with properly so that Mia's surgery will be paid for later
• I'm sad to leave our church family who have helped us to grow so much spiritually and who have guided us through some of the most difficult times of our lives. I am sad too, because I know this place will never be the same--when we move on, it is only the beginning of the long line of people who will be doing the same, scattering the members of 3rd Avenue Baptist church all over the world.
• I'm happy that I was able to be a part of such a wonderful body of believers, that one day I will see these people again after the long journey of life and we can spend eternity telling each other stories of our ministries, and that I have a whole new group of Christians to build relationships with and learn from at Bigelow.
• I'm tired from packing for weeks and trying to get my 4 month old daughter to sleep through the night
• I'm thankful for the fun going away party that some of our friends threw us last night

Trusting God

I realized that I had hardly posted in October at all which means I had failed to include anything on my blog about the work that God is doing in our lives right now. I guess I should start from the beginning, though I know most of you that read my blog already know the whole story.

Our daughter Maleigha was born with a small dimple above her bottom. The first time I saw it I didn't think it was anything to be alarmed about...I wasn't even sure if it was that abnormal (I haven't really looked at that many bottoms..hehe). But when every doctor and nurse that came into the room said something about it, I began to realize that it might be a little more serious. They told us to keep an eye on it--make sure no fluid was coming out of it, it didn't get bigger, etc. And we left the hospital not really hearing another thing about it.

It wasn't until her 2 month check-up that they decided to look into it a little more. She was scheduled for an ultra-sound (this test was the most tramatic for all of us. I ended up having to hold Mia down for 15 minutes while she screamed until her face was red and she was covered in sweat, drool and snot) and when that seemed to show signs of a condition called tethered cord (where some fibers from the spinal cord attach to the tail bone) they proceeded to do an MRI. This included making a 2 month old baby fast for almost 6 hours. We thought this would be a much bigger ordeal than the ultrasound but it went smoothly. We definitely felt the prayers of our family and church. We got the results the next morning and found out that she indeed had tethered cord and would require surgery on her spine to repair it.

We are now at the point where we are simply trusting God and waiting for answers. We found out today that they won't do this surgery on children under the age of 2. We were frustrated because we thought they would need to do surgery right away. We had planned on moving at the end of this month and had decided not to so that Mia could get her surgery here...but after finding out we would be waiting over a year, we have started looking harder for a job for David in Ohio and researching the neurosurgical department at Children's hospital in Columbus.

I'm learning to trust God in new ways. We had our life planned out for the next few months and God had a different plan. And just when I became okay with the new plan, God threw us for another loop and we are back to having to take it one day at a time and not really knowing what the future holds, trusting God with every step. Though I know this is the way I should be living my life anyway, it still feels so scary. I know when we come through this I will see all that God has taught us and done for us but right now I feel like I can't even see my hand in front of my face. Please pray for our family, that we would trust God and lean on Him only. He has brought us this far and I know He will lead us through this as well.

Happy Halloween!

Wheww...Mia and I just made it back yesterday afternoon from a busy, exciting, fun and crazy time with the family in Ohio. We went on Saturday to surprise my mom for her 50th birthday. She was so excited to see her little Mia (and Mia's mommy and daddy too). David had to come back on Monday for work and class but Mia and I were able to stay til Wednesday so that we could participate in all the festivities of Halloween. We had such a fun visit with everyone...we were both very sad to leave.

On Tuesday, Mia dressed up and went Trick-or-Treating with her cousin, Bryce...I mean, Scarecrow. (While in costume, he insisted on being called "Scarecrow" and Mia was "Baby Butterfly") She had so much fun. She laughed at all the kids walking by and kept her eye on Bryce. She had a continuous smile on her face until we made it back to Jayme and Josh's house where she crashed and slept for an hour or so. Mia's first Halloween was better than I even imagined it would be. She stayed pretty happy (except for the extreme breakdown she had when we visited Josh's office, but we don't like to talk about that). And she looked so adorable in her butterfly costume.

Mia's 2 month check-up

This is the story of Mia's 2 month doctors appointment. To begin the adventure she decided she didn't want to sleep through the night after doing so for a whole week. She cried off and on during the night...I even tried feeding her and she still cried when she was done eating. She probably heard David and I talking about her having to get shots and she was feeling anxiety about it...I don't think that was it because I was worried enough for the both of us. So, after a rough night, I drug myself through the morning until my spirits were lifted when I saw how cute Mia looked in this outfit (picture on the left). Even if the appointment was going to be horrible, she could at least look cute.

I didn't anticipate that Mia would spit up a large quanitity of her noon feeding (which was usually at 1 or 1:30, but because of her rough night she was all confused and ate too early, so my plans to take a well fed, happy baby to the doctor at 1:40 were foiled). So, I had to change her cute little outfit. The picture on the right was what she looked like when we left the apartment...she looked a little scared.

I arrived at the doctor's office with a sleeping baby in tow but when the nurse weighed and measured her she was forced out of her peaceful slumber. When the nurse left the room I was happy to see Mia play and coo with the baby in the mirror above the examining table but deep inside I knew it wouldn't last long. By the time the doctor arrived, Mia had already had enough and all the poking and prodding only made it worse. The screaming began and I could not get her under control until minutes before the nurse came in to give her 4 shots but by then it was too late. Tears welled in my eyes as she writhed and screamed on the table as the needles went into her legs.

Finally the tramatic experience was over and we were able to go home but for Mia, the screaming had only just begun. She cried all the way home and could not be consoled until she was in the safe and loving arms of her daddy who came bounding out the door to greet us the moment we pulled into the parking lot. I was afraid that this was only the beginning of what our long evening would look like, but Mia proved me wrong when, after I finished feeding her, she cooed and played. She was happier than I had seen her in a few days and was full of energy.

By God's grace, Mia and I made it through the ordeal. I experienced a difficult aspect of being a mother--seeing your child in pain, knowing there isn't much you can do about it. And although I would hope that I would never have to experience that again, I know there will be many times that I will have to be there for Mia when she gets a boo-boo, or gets her heart broken or when she gives birth to her own little one someday. This was a big step in the direction of trusting God with my precious daughter...He can protect her like I will never be able to.

Just like Mommy

The dress that I wore when I was a baby finally fits Mia. She looks so much like me in this picture. I often forget that I was this small and someday Mia will be as old as I am now. Realizing this reminds me that I need to trust God so much...I am responsible to make this little child what she will someday be as an adult. I pray that I will raise her to love God and live her life to please Him only.

Mia and her swing

Mia loves playing in her swing. I always worry about her getting bored in it but most of the time she would be content to sit there all day and watch the lights and listen to the music as she swings. She is the happiest when mommy and daddy play with her while she sits in her swing--she gives us the best smiles when she is sitting in it.

And as you can see in the first picture she is starting to figure out how to control her arm. She spent the entire day yesterday staring at her hand as she held it out in front of her face. Occasionally she will attempt to bring it to her mouth but it seems like now she is just fine with showing everyone that she possesses a hand on her right side. It looks like she wants us to "give her the rock".

Growing Big and Strong

Mia had her one month doctor's visit today and everything is looking great. She is now 20.5 inches long and weighs 8lbs 5oz. She has grown so much since she was born when she was 18.5 inches and 7lbs 2oz. The doctor said she is one of the most alert and responsive babies she has ever seen at this age. She really does love smiling and talking...even to the point that she won't sleep if she knows there are people around to play with. We have loved watching our little girl grow over the last month.

Over the last month I have had to learn how to trust God to protect and take care of Mia. I worry that she isn't getting enough to eat, I worry that I'm feeding her too much, I worry that she will choke in her sleep, I worry that I'm not holding her enough, I worry that I'm holding her too much, I worry about her schedule...and so on. But it all comes down to that God is in control of her life anyway and there is only so much I can do. So far, He has given us a healthy, happy baby that has given us so much joy...and right now that is all I could ask for.

Mia misses her Aunt Jayme

Maleigha missed her aunt Jayme yesterday so she wanted to surround herself with things that she had gotten her. She wore the cute outfit with the butterflies on it and the pretty white tennis shoes with flowers and lace and she insisted on putting the "I Love My Aunt" bib on while laying on the special blanket that Aunt Jayme made just for her. Mia can't wait to see her on Saturday.

Cousins

Mia had a great time with her cousin, Bryce, when he and Nana and Aunt Jayme came to visit on Thursday and Friday. The first time he met her he wasn't so sure about what to think about her. The hospital was scary, he was worried about his Aunt Kiki and everyone was talking to him all at once. But when he got to come back after having some to think about how much he loved her he was able to feel really comfortable around her.

Bryce spent the two days watching, kissing and playing with Mia. When she was gone from his sight for a little while he started asking, "Where did baby Mia go?" and when she would cry he wanted to make sure she was okay. And Mia loved watching Bryce and she especially loved when he held her. They are such a cute pair...it will be fun to see them grow up together.

Smile!

Today we captured one of Mia's first responsive smiles. I was setting up a picture...she had on the really cute tennis dress that Nana got her and I was using some pink tennis balls as props. I was trying my best to get her to just look at me but when her dad came home she didn't just look at him, she grinned from ear to ear. She was so excited to see him after he had been away all day at class. The first smile we thought might have been just a coincidence but when she did it over and over as David talked and played with her we knew she was really just happy to have her dad home.

Attempt at a fashion show

Don't I look cute in the outfit my Aunt Jayme got me and the cute little shoes that Nana got me? I'm finally starting to grow into some of my cute clothes so my mommy wanted to dress me up just for fun. I didn't want to cooperate for a complete fashion show but I was good while I got my picture taken in this outfit.

Finally asleep

I really can't complain about how our little one is sleeping at night. She only wakes up once, I feed her and she usually goes right back to sleep. But she seems to be a different girl in the day. I guess she doesn't want to miss out on any of the day's activities but she really hates to sleep. It is a real effort to get her to quiet down and then when we put her in her bed she is awake again within 5 minutes. She sleeps best when she is snuggled up with her mommy. I'm sure she was awake and crying about 5 minutes after this picture was taken...but she is so cute in this picture anyway and I, of course, don't mind snuggling with her.

Things I Love...by Mia

This is my favorite book--Nana bought it for me when she was here visiting. I love to play with my doll. Its name (Ookie) even makes me laugh.

I love for my daddy to hold me.

I also really love wearing hats!

And I really loved getting dressed up for my first Sunday at church.

Mia and Daddy

Mia really loves spending time with her daddy! David picked out this shirt for her as soon as we found out she was a girl. He was so excited to have a little "Daddy's girl"...and now he's got her (or rather she's got him because she already has daddy wrapped around her finger). Here are some pictures of her in her "I Love Daddy" shirt and her gianormous pants. She'll grow into (and out of) her clothes someday.

Daddy worries about his little girl so much. With every noise she makes in the night he is jumping out of bed and every sound in the day makes him ask, "Is she okay?" But he has become an expert at getting her to burp. I think she feels more comfortable doing it around her dad because she has seen him do it too. David has been so helpful to change diapers and sit up with her so I can sleep. I couldn't do it without him!

Mia is here!

After 36 hours of labor, Maleigha Evangeline Dunham finally arrived on Wednesday, July 25th at 12:08p.m. weighing 7 lbs 2 oz. and measuring 18.5 inches long.

On Monday evening at 9, I started having contractions that were coming about 5 minutes apart. I really had myself convinced that I wasn't really in labor, so I waited an hour or so to say anything to David. By then it was nearing time for him to go to work so I thought I should probably mention it before he left me alone for a few hours. He waited with me as the contractions gradually got more intense. When they seemed harder to endure and they were coming closer together, we took off for the hospital. After going through all the paperwork and waiting for the nurse to analyze the situation, we ended up being sent home to try to get some rest--I was still only 1cm dilated.

Of course I couldn't sleep through the pain, so I spent the next 12 hours worrying and finding a way to cope with the contractions. Finally at about noon on Tuesday we headed back to the hospital. I wasn't able to stand the pain anymore and I thought for sure I had made some progress. But upon going through the same routine as I had the night before I was informed that I still was only at 1cm. I immediately burst into tears. I didn't want to be sent home again. Thankfully, the doctor decided to keep me there. I got some great pain medication and was sent over to labor and delivery.

To make a long story short, they found that I had scar tissue on my cervix making it impossible for it to dilate on its own. I got an epidural, one doctor stretched my cervix I got some Pitocin and I slept throught the night. The next morning another doctor came and broke my water putting my labor into warp speed. I dilated 3cm in about an hour and soon found myself getting ready to push. The nurses couldn't find a doctor so I had to wait, but in all I only pushed for about 20 mintues and Mia was finally in the world.

We've spent the last few days getting to know our little girl and sharing her with friends and family. She is worth every day of pregnancy, all the painful hours of labor and every hour of sleep that I have lost. David and I are enjoying so much our little gift from God!

Maleigha will be here next week!!

I haven't updated my blog for quite awhile. Our internet was only working on our slow computer and it was frustrating to try to type out e-mails and blog entries when there was so much delay. But anyway, I just wanted to fill you in on what is going on with the pregnancy situation.


I went to the doctor on Thursday and because my fluids were up the time before and I was measuring bigger, they didn't have to do an ultrasound. I was thankful for multiple reasons--one, because that reassured me that my baby is okay and two, we were having to pay for half of every ultrasound they did and those things can be kind of expensive, and three, the ultrasound technicians are not the most friendly people in the world--I think they might be in the dark for too much of the day and that makes them grouchy. I was glad to not have to see them again.


But at this appointment there was still no progress so I discussed with the nurse practitioner what would happen if I went over my due date. She explained that they don't like to let women go more than a week over because of health risks to the mother and baby. I was relieved by that, but it still wasn't good enough for me so I pressed a little further. "Is there any way that I could be induced sooner than that?" She thought it through and said the best she could do was to get me in to see a doctor on Monday who could schedule me to be induced on Thursday.


It is so exciting to see the end in sight. If she doesn't come before then, we will have our baby on Thursday!

Another crazy day!

I'm getting a little anxious and restless for our little Maleigha to come. I tried to spend the day out today so that I wasn't going crazy here at home. I went to a few stores and got the groceries we needed for the week.

I was feeling tired and ready to go home so I checked out with my cart full of groceries and waddled to the car. But as I approached the drivers side to unlock the door, my heart sank. The wheel that had just been replaced two days earlier had a flat tire on it. I put the groceries in the trunk and remained calm as I dialed my husband's cell phone. He was in class but I knew he would get the message because he had his phone on vibrate in expectation that I would go into labor any day this week. But when he didn't answer, I panicked a little and my crazy pregnancy hormones took over and I started crying. I didn't know what else to do.

David soon called back and I gained my composer. By God's grace the tire had gotten flat while in the parking lot so I was able to get a drink and stand (yes stand, because a large man had spread himself across the only bench in the entryway and didn't seem to notice that a pregnant women needed to sit down) in the air-conditioned comfort of Walmart. My legs soon became tired so I found a seat outside and waited where I would be visible to my husband when he arrived. But my attempt at resting was soon thwarted when two women decided to take their smoke break only a few feet from me.

I non-chalantly ambled back inside--not wanting my unborn child to be exposed to second hand smoke--and resumed my position, still without a seat. I watched as person after person walked through the automatic doors, each one either pretending there wasn't a distressed pregnant woman standing in front of the gumball machine or giving me a look as if to say "oh, poor thing" but never stopping to offer assistance. I even thought back to moments ago when I had been crying in the car. There had been people sitting in the car next to me, clearly viewing the flat tire and my sobbing hysteria but not doing anything.

I became frustrated at first but soon realized that I wouldn't have done anything different. I certainly would not have spread myself across the only available seat but I probably would have avoided inviting anyone nearby to sit next to me. I would have walked by a upset young pregnant woman thinking, "certainly someone else is on their way to help her, I probably shouldn't get involved". Or if I saw someone crying in their car I would assume that territory was off limits and I should mind my own business for fear that they would be angry if I pryed into their affairs.

This incident really convicted me to do better. Jesus Christ talked to people who were considered outcasts and helped those who others looked over. I pray that I will not continue to live as I have, avoiding situations that may be uncomfortable. As a Christian I should be willing to step out of my way to help someone, no matter how inconvenient or awkward it may be.

Devotions--July 4

Just wanted to share a little of what my devotions have been looking like in the mornings. I'm excited about what God is teaching me through simply reading and praying through His Word. I was inspired by the book "A Place of Quiet Rest" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss to do better in my time alone with God. I was led to start back on reading the bible in a year with the M'Cheyne reading plan and then taking meaning from each chapter by writing down what I learn and praying over it. I thought maybe this would inspire someone to do the same--it has been so fruitful already!


Genesis 37--Joseph was favored by his father, Jacob, so the other brothers hated him. Joseph had two dreams which symbolized his brothers bowing to him--this made them hate him even more. Joseph’s brother plot to kill him but Rueben saves his life by suggesting they throw him into a pit. A caravan of Ishmaelites came and took Joseph as a slave to Egypt. The brothers lied to Jacob and said that Joseph had been slaughtered by a wild animal. Because of the brothers jealousy and hatred of Joseph, they sinned. I pray that the Holy Spirit would guard my heart against becoming jealous of anyone. Much is given to me by the Lord and I have no reason to envy another person’s possessions or talents.

Job 3--Job cursed the day he was born. He lamented to God about his sufferings. In his suffering he does not see significance in his life. May I, even in times of trouble and sadness, see the mighty hand of God on my life. I pray that I will remember that no matter how bad my life may seem, God has a reason for me to be alive and I should praise him for giving me life.

Mark 7--Jesus rebukes the Pharisees for holding to human tradition and keeping their hearts far from God. The heart of a man is evil and that is what defiles him. Jesus heals a deaf man and tells him no to tell of what took place--but he does anyway and people are astonished by the miracle. May I not cling to the traditions of man but follow what the Lord has for me to do and lean on his grace. Legalism can make us hard and unforgiving and I pray I will seek to be like Jesus, no matter what traditions I must break. And may my heart constantly be reminded that when I put too much faith in works I am taking away from the work of Christ on the cross. May I guard my heart against evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness so that I will not be defiled.

Romans 7--Just like a woman is free to marry another man after her husband dies, we are free from the law because we have died to it. And now we are free to be one with Christ. The law is holy because it was given by God and was made to teach us what sin is. Because of our sinful flesh we still sin and do not have the ability to do what is right. But we can remember that the death of Christ saved us. May I seek the Lord in my thoughts and actions so that I can do what is right but when my sinful flesh takes over may I also know that I am forgiven through the death of Christ.

Baby shower

After this weekend I feel so exhausted...but there is no way I would have taken time to rest and miss out on all the fun. The ladies of 3rd Avenue Baptist Church threw a shower for Maleigha and I on Saturday night and my mom, sister and nephew came to be there for it. I was so excited to see how much my nephew had changed in the last couple of weeks. He is almost completely potty trained, he can work big kid puzzles and he talks so much more. I just can't believe how much he has grown up! It was fun having my mom and sister here too--to talk about Maleigha and get things ready for her...and to go shopping too, of course...I loved seeing how excited they are for the baby to arrive. I am so thankful for all that my mom and sister have done as I prepare for the birth of little Maleigha. I wish I could do more to repay them.

The shower was so encouraging. I couldn't believe how many people came and how generous they all were. I was so humbled by their giving and their excitement about the upcoming birth of our child. It was so uplifting to hear such godly women pray for me and to receive advice from mothers that I admire so much. There wasn't a thing I would have changed about the whole evening...except for maybe all the sweets I ate. But anyway, I have kept pretty busy the last couple of days with putting away all of Maleigha's new clothes and finding places for all the gear that she requires.

I just praise the Lord for the generosity of friends and family because we could not do this without all of them. Their prayers have been so valuable and their willingness to give has left me feeling that I have so much more to learn about helping other people.

No News is Good News and the Grace of God

I guess no news is good news when it comes this close to the end of my pregnancy. My 36 week appointment yesterday was pretty uneventful...heartbeat is still great, no dilation yet...no big surprises. I think my hopes for her coming a little early were never very realistic...Maleigha is my first baby, my siblings and I were all late and general statistics aren't really in my favor. I should probably count on her being on time or just a little late. I'm just so ready for her to be here!

I got a little experience in parenting today. I watched a little girl from my church who is just a couple months old. I had never been left alone that long with a child that small but I welcomed the opportunity to get some practice. It wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be. She slept a lot and only cried a little. But, during the whole process, it did help for me to remember that she was going back to her mother at the end of the morning...it kept me from getting too overwhelmed. Although I gained some confidence in taking care of an infant, I still feel a little nervous considering that when my baby cries, I can't just call her mother because I will be her mother. But I do know that I can call on God and He will give me the grace that I need...His hand will sustain me when I can't sustain myself.

Week 36

I've finally hit week 36 in my pregnancy... and I have definitely started to feel different. I can feel my muscles and bones stretching to get ready to give birth...so as my friend Moriah kindly observed, I now have the pregnancy waddle. And when I get tired, I get really tired...but when I get energy, I get a lot of energy. Yesterday I got a spurt of energy and finally got a lot of much needed cleaning done...the extra energy was probably brought on by the excitement of the weekend (our church is in the process of getting a new pastor so we had events planned all weekend for the church to get to know him...but that's another story)

So anyway, I'm also feeling that Maleigha is getting big. When she starts moving, I really feel it...and see it too! My belly changes shapes numerous times a day and it occasionally looks as if she is doing the wave inside of there. David and I are both ready for her to come...we are ready to hold her and to have a new addition to our little family. I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday. I don't expect to get any ground breaking news...so far she's been healthy and she hasn't really started to drop yet...but we'll just have to see. The doctors I go to are known for getting babies to be born very near their due dates, if not earlier so that makes me happy. As long as she is healthy, I'm ready for her to come at any time.

Just a day in the life...

I couldn't think of anything else to write today so I thought I'd share about my eventful day. David marched loudly into the bedroom at 7:00 this morning and rolled playfully onto the bed beside me...I got a glimpse of what he must feel like when I cheerfully wake him from his short nights of slumber. He had worked all night and collapsed on the couch at 5 am for a little power nap before class. He explained his intrusive actions by explaining that he needed some company while he ate his breakfast and since I was supposed to get together with Samantha at 9:00 I thought I might as well start my day a little early.

He traveled his usual path around the internet--you know, reading blogs, checking the news--while I looked over his shoulder. He took a break from his rountine to get dressed and then he was out the door. I threw on some clothes, pulled my hair back and put some makeup on just in time for my phone to ring--that was my cue that Samantha must be waiting. We walked to Heine Bros. for coffee and chatted about life as seminary wives. After we took a lap around the block and then around the campus I was ready to rest so I went home to rejuvenate before I had to run my errands.

As you know, baby Maleigha is coming soon so I had a few random things to do to get ready for her arrival...one of them being to get the things I need for my bag to take to the hospital. I spent hours at Target picking out just the right toothbrush and making sure all my travel bottles matched. I probably have much more than I really need...but I guess I was having so much fun I just got carried away. I just hope that her arrival comes sooner rather than later or I'm going to run out of things to keep me busy.

So, here I am now at 8:15 pm waiting for David to wake up. Maybe he'll get a little pay back for the abrupt wake-up call he gave me this morning or maybe I will be the better person and let him sleep a few extra mintues...we'll just have to see.

Waiting for Maleigha

My mom was excited that I had started my blog back up again because she thought it would be a good way to see how my pregnancy is progressing and to get updates on how her little granddaughter is doing. I hadn't actually posted anything about either of those things...I didn't know where to start. So this post is for my mom. Hopefully now that I've gotten started I will post more about what is going on with Maleigha.

The picture above is my first pregnant belly picture. It was November 19th...Mia had only been in existence for a month so she hadn't started to effect my shape yet (I'm still wearing my regular jeans). Only David and I knew--it was fun having our own exciting little secret. We were finally done with fertility medications and monthly disappointments. Our hearts no longer ached with empty longing but were full of praise to God for answering our prayers.

The picture to the right is my most recent pregnant belly picture. It was taken on Jun 17...a little over a month to go. It's hard to believe that I've been pregnant that long. Except for the months that I was sick (and even then it wasn't too bad because friends, family and holiday festivities kept me pretty busy) the time has just flown by. Now that we have Maleigha's room in order and I know the day is coming soon, I just get more and more excited for her to be here. I want to know what she looks like and I want to hold her and see how proud and loving her daddy is when he holds her. This girl is so loved already...and we haven't even seen her.

A Devotion on Psalm 48

Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised in the city of our God
God I praise you for who you are—you are creator and all your creation bows to you. You are powerful—all things are in your hands. You are strong—you protect me from harm and you give me strength to endure. You are holy—you cannot look upon sin and because of that I seek your Son to redeem me and overcome that sin so I can be in your presence. You are glorious—my heart longs to be near you. I praise you for all you have done in our home. You have worked a mighty hand in David’s life and mine so that while we look upon your face we see an end to our striving after worldly lusts. Help us to never look away from the strength and power that your presence has given us.

His holy mountain beautiful in elevation, is the joy of all the earth, Mount Zion in the far north, the city of the great king
When I look upon a day like today I am compelled to worship you for what you have given us. The sun shines on the trees to produce a radiant glow. The wind swirls around me only to emphasize how comforting the warmth is when I feel it. (And it is so in life--the trials come to remind me of the warmth and light that you provide when they cease). But I cannot quite become content with what is here on earth because I know there is a place that no earthly city can compare to. I praise you for creating a place that is beyond my comprehension at this time…a place that is glorious because of your presence…a place where I can be with you forever and enjoy that blessing. Thank you for allowing me to have assurance and hope in the fact that I will see your face some day after life’s long journey. Help me to remember this so that I can face trials with a strong and fearless energy—knowing that all I do is for you and all earthly struggles will one day be forgotten.

Within your citadels God has made himself known as a fortress. For behold, the kings assembled, they came on together. As soon as they saw it, they were astounded; they were in panic; they took to flight. Trembling took hold of them there, anguish as of a woman in labor. By the east wind you shattered the ships of Tarshish. As we have heard, so have we seen in the city of the Lord of hosts, in the city of our God, which God will establish forever.
Make yourself known in this place—give us assurance that you are our fortress and that you will protect us from anything that may come our way. Help us not to forget the power and strength that you possess when we are faced with difficult times. You are the strength that holds us together and the wall that surrounds us when enemies attack. Help me to keep this on my mind and know that your presence causes even great kings to tremble…your strength can shatter ships. Help me persevere, knowing that you are establishing a great city that will endure forever.

We have thought on your steadfast love, O God, in the midst of your temple. As your name, O God, so you praise reaches to the ends of the earth. Your right hand is filled with righteousness. Let Mount Zion be glad! Let the daughters of Judah rejoice because of your judgment.
Help me think always of your steadfast love—it never gives up, no matter what sinful deeds I have committed. I praise you for loving me even though I am so unlovable. Give me a heart like yours that loves without condition—strengthen me to love those who are struggling and who need you. Put it on my heart to contribute to the spreading of your name and praise throughout the earth. Your name is known even when the hearts of men are cold and when they turn from you. Your plans are never thwarted. Let us rejoice like the daughters of Judah because of your judgment. It reminds us of your holiness and justice—you are truly great and worthy to be praised.

Walk about Zion, go around her, number her towers, consider well her ramparts, go through her citadels, that you may tell the next generation that this is God, our God forever and ever. He will guide us forever.
I praise you Lord for reminding us that you will guide us forever. As we prepare to move from this place of comfort…a place where we have the best friends we have ever had, where David has a good, reliable job, and where I am finally happy…to labor for your kingdom, I pray that we will not forget this. We are prone to worry and we attempt to make our own plans and control situations by our own hands. Remind us that your strength and your wisdom far exceed ours. Your plans are perfect and anything we do can only dull the shining brilliance of what you have in store. Guide us Lord, as we seek friends, a job, and ministry opportunities. Only you, God are with us forever and ever and only you will guide our every step.

3rd Anniversary Highlights

David and I are celebrating our 3rd anniversary today...our anniversary is actually on Tuesday but since he is taking classes this summer and working the night shift at UPS I may very well not even get to see him that day. We are probably going to the art museum, going out to eat (probably for Chinese food since that is what baby Maleigha wants), and possibly a movie. Not having exact times and places is so not like us, but I guess it's good that we are becoming a little more relaxed about stuff like that...we will need a more laid back attitude for when the baby comes. So anyway...I just wanted to look back over the past year and highlight some of the memories of our 3rd year of marriage.

3. Walks around SBTS campus--in the last year we have probably made at least 200 trips on foot around the beautiful campus of Southern Seminary. There were somedays...and many of them have been lately because of how uncomfortable I have gotten in my final weeks of pregnancy...that we took 3 walks in one day. It seems as if our conversations flow more freely. It is then that we find out the most about each other--what we think on certain issues, what happened in our busy days, what plans we have for the future. Even if it's just for a few minutes, we walk away from all other obligations to spend time with each other.

2. Time with friends and family--We have had planned and unplanned get-togethers, dinners at church, baseball games, cook-outs, parties and through all these experiences David and I have met some of the best friends we have ever had. We have such a unique opportunity to build relationships with the people at our church who truly understand what we are going through. It is encouraging to know that we have so many people who are genuinely interested in our lives and pray for us when we struggle. We have also been blessed to see the relationship grow with my family in particular. We trust my mom and dad to help us and pray for us in times of need. I feel like I can talk to my brother and sister now about things I never would talked about before--feelings and emotions, our relationships with God, etc. We look forward to building these relationships in our future years together.

1. And of course the brightest highlight of this past year has been--Waiting for Maleigha. Our 2nd year of marriage was marked by the struggles, frustrations, and disappointment of infertility. We learned to rely on each other and trust the Lord in ways we never thought possible. But after testing our faith and blessing us with a better relationship with each other, the Lord saw fit to give us a child. Maleigha was conceived in October 2006 and the past 8 months have been spent waiting for her arrival. The joy of finding out we were having a baby is not only the highlight of our 3rd year of marriage, it is also one of the highlights of my life. I will praise the Lord every time I see or even think of Maleigha, for he has blessed us greatly.

Summer Book List

Since summer is just beginning, I wanted to share some books that would be great for adding to your summer reading list. I know I look forward to having some time to catch up on my reading...I hope this inpires you to do the same.

I just finished the book A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. This book inspired me like no other, to daily come before the Lord and seek communion with Him. With accounts of her own experiences and struggles as well as with the encouragement of other godly women, this book gave me a spiritual boost to long for the presence of my God. After reading each chapter I would have such a strong desire to spend time with God that I would immediately grab my bible and find a quiet place to meditate on His word and pray. I appreciate the ever present bluntness of DeMoss' writing style--she does not shy away from convicting her readers.
I would also recommend Lies Women Believe by the same author. The light of grace shines to reveal the truth from God's Word. When I read this book I was forced to struggle with issues in order to figure out what the Bible really says.

In the past year I have also discovered that I like historical fiction. I began reading The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson and couldn't put it down. The story of the 1893 Chicago Worlds Fair unfolds with stories of struggle and of triumph, of celebration and of murder. The scenes were spectacularly described so that I really felt like I was there. I also found it exciting to see how history has effected our lives today, even down to the smallest detail...such as, shredded wheat being introduced at the fair and is now found in many pantries around the world today. I especially liked reading about Frederick Law Olmsted who was the landscape architect behind the Chicago World's fair and also designed the wonderful park system that we enjoy in Louisville today.

And finally, I would recommend that you pick up a biography. I have read two in the past year that were especially inspirational. A Chance to Die by Elisabeth Elliot, which is the story of Amy Carmichael who labored in India to lead many young women to Christ. And the story of Ann Judson is revealed in My Heart in His Hands by Sharon James. Ann Judson, the first wife of missionary Adoniram Judson, spent her life by her husband's side, spreading the gospel to the people of Burma. Both of these women were clear pictures to me of what sacrifice looks like and their stories convicted me of how little passion I show for those who are lost.

A life outside of blogging

This is my second attempt at maintaining a blog. I think, as with many other things I have attempted to do, I took the all-or-nothing approach to something that should truly not be as stressful as I was making it. I had the idea that since I sat down and put alot of thought into a meaningful article for my blog one day that I had to continue to do that for all the days that followed. And soon it became a task that I simply dreaded facing everyday and, of course, I gave up. I'm sure there are many who can relate to that--whether you have your own neglected blog, are on a diet, started reading a ridiculously hard piece of literature or have wrapped your life up in some other task that has quickly overwhelmed you. So, my new and improved blog will be a mixture of my brief thoughts on everyday life, articles that I have taken time to prepare, and maybe some pictures and poetry along the way...nothing too exciting, but hopefully it will stay low maintainance so I can have a life outside of blogging.